This blog is so random. I was just looking for internships, and reading articles like ‘ What to do when you you don’t have a passion’ and taking a quiz – ‘ See what your Passion is’ . The truth is I really don’t know what to do, what career path to choose. I just graduated from college and did my bachelor’s in Mathematics! I don’t even know why I chose a subject which gave me extreme anxiety throughout my high school! I never once slept before a Math exam! Still, I chose it as my core subject for my under grad. I thought by the end of my college I would know what I really want to do – but here I am, sipping another coffee and worrying about how I hate being dependent on my father and how I don’t have a fucking clue about what to do.

I stumbled across this site. I decided to jot down my thoughts. I’ve always been an anxious person, and now it has just flared to another level. A level that is scaring the shit out of me. A level at which I’m having anxiety about being anxious. A level which is compelling me to think that is this how I will live my life? Not sleeping because stupid baseless thoughts, feeling nauseous on the slightest hurdles, crying over stupidest of things?

I began searching my worries on google, out of the plain curiosity if other people go through these issues too or if it’s just me having the worst headaches because of overthinking. I stumbled across so many articles, questions, blogs. I was surprised that so many people were going through this terrible mental illness. I felt relived that I’m not alone. Sometimes the assurance of not being the odd one out is what makes you feel better.

Presently, my mental state is slightly frazzled. I don’t have a clue what to do right now. All I will do is go take a walk, talk to my dog about what’s going in my head and hope that I get a good sleep tonight.